Vendicare: Turn that Frown Upside Down
by Grieving Fox
Summary: Or, in which Tsuna thinks Bermuda tried to kill Mukuro and Mukuro is to busy applying mental soap to correct him. Bermuda just laughs. Crackfic. Newly: this will be expanded into a two shot.
1. Chapter 1

"Vendicare: Turn that Frown Upside Down!"

Disclaimer: I do no own Katekyo Hitman Reborn or any characters within

A/N: this is my first non-poem fic. I hope you enjoy!

Bermuda had come upon the realization many years ago. What was the best way to torment complete nut cases with no morals. It had taken much thought and many discard plans. It wasn't until someone mentioned talk therapy that he had his epiphany. What was worse for a criminal mastermind than becoming a functioning, contributing member of society? Nothing. And so, Operation: TFUP was born. Bermuda and several other Vindice (with liberal mist flame application) became certified therapists. Not because they cared about the law, but because if they were going to reform insane criminals, they were going to do it right, damnit!

His first victi- I mean, patient, was a criminally insane man of 29. He approached the man with a proposition: The inmate allowed them to practice all their therapy techniques on him, and he got two years shaved off his sentence. The guy jumped at the opportunity. After all, he was incorrigible. 'Therapy' wouldn't make a difference.

He should have realized that the Vindice was merciless. They never skimped on punishments. 6 years later, he didn't want to commit any non-mafia approved crimes because _morals_! Also, he had a severe phobia of emotion wheels, but that is neither here nor there. Bermuda cackled in glee.

Mukuro could deal with pain. He had been experimented on, after all. He knew starvation, dehydration. Physical ailments hardly phased him. Phycological torture he dismissed out of hand. He was already to broken for that to work. What he didn't count on was that the Vindice had been dealing with nut cases like him for years.

"Mukuro!" Bermuda's voice floated into his cell.

Said inmate didn't respond. Then, his head was forced up and he blinked in confusion at the piece of paper that was thrust in front of his face. It appeared to be a _list_ of some sort. He squinted. No, he was not hallucinating, that was a list of _feeling words._ If Mukuro were a lesser man, he would have gagged. As it was, he sneered in disgust.

"Oh, don't give me that look," Bermuda smirked, out of sight, "It is time to share our feelings!"

Mukuro was decidedly unimpressed. He glared at the direction the Baby Vindice's voice was coming from.

"Ooooh, you are going to be a tough nut to crack, aren't you?" Bermuda murmured to himself, "That's alright. I like a challenge."

6, excruciating months later, Tsuna retrieved Mukuro.

"TSUNA!' Mukuro yelled, almost sobbing with relief.

"You're finally here. I almost gave in. you saved me. Unbelievable tortures. Oh, god. The wheels!" Mukuro dissolved into incoherent babbling.

Tsuna looked both confused and enraged. He turned to Bermuda, "What did you DO to him?"

Bermuda merely smirked, "Aren't you demanding, Tsunayoshi?"

He suddenly got in Tsuna's personal space, glaring.

"HIEEE!" Tsuna scrambled back.

He hightailed it out of there, a hysterical pineapple-headed guardian being dragged on the floor after him. Bermuda smiled smugly.

The End

A/N: I am aware the characters are OOC. Do you really think cannon! Bermuda would be a therapist? Also, this is really different (in more ways than one) from my usual stuff. I hope you guys liked it.


	2. Chapter 2: The Aftermath

Chapter 2: The Aftermath

a/n: this had been expanded to a two shot. I may write more, depending on the response.

Disclaimer: I do own Katekyo Hitman Reborn or any of its characters

Chapter Summary: In which Mukuro can't anything that looks like a wheel, Tsuna assumes he had been tortured and the Varia is just so done with this. Bermuda is still very amused.

Xanxus was confused. Why was the famously insane Mist Guardian of Baby Trash curled into a ball, rocking back and forth. And why did everyone else think this was normal? Damnit! He did _not_ sign up for this! Xanxus stalked out of the meeting.

"Shark Trash! We are leaving!" He threw over his shoulder.

"VOI! Shitty boss, we can't just leave!" Squalo shouted, enraged.

They ended up leaving.

Mukuro looked up, expression surprisingly tearful.

"Is the scary man with the wheel gone?" Mukuro whimpered.

Tsuna gave Mukuro a pitying look, wondering what trauma his poor guardian had suffered, "Yes, he's gone."

Mukuro jumped up. His usual smirk spread across his face, "Kufufufu… Useless Boss"

The purple haired man went to lean against a wall.

Tsuna sweat dropped, "That can't be normal," he mumbled, "Mukuro needs some help. Maybe we should hire a therapi-?!"

Mukuro had latched onto Tsuna's leg, "Don't send me back! Don't make go to therapy. I'll do anything, please. Never again. No more emotion wheels!"

Tsuna stared confusedly at the top of his guardian's head, "Ooookay. No therapy…"

Mukuro grinned, an expression that on anyone else would have been reassuring, but on him, just looked insane, "I knew I could trust you. you are the best boss ever!"

Tsuna was seriously disturbed by the speech that sounded more like something to come out of his forever loyal guard dog- I mean storm guardian- Hayoto. _Something is seriously wrong here…_ he thought to himself. But how do you fix someone who is so obviously terrified of therapists. Gah, he hated being a mafia boss.

"Reborn, fix him!" Tsuna demanded.

"Dame-Tsuna, are you trying to imply that this is my fault?" Reborn asked, dangerous aura spreading.

 _Well,_ Tsuna thought, _Reborn's going to kill me anyways, might as well go all in…_

"Yes!" Tsuna shouted," Because you are the one who made me a mafia boss, therefore anything that has to with said mafia business and me, is your fault! Also, you love chaos. Insanity is chaos. Fix him!"

Reborn considered this, "Hmmm, fair enough. Mukuro!"

The purple haired man turned, "Yes? Kufufu!"

"If you don't stop reacting like this every time someone has a wheel or mentions feelings, I will send you back to Vendicare!" Reborn smirked, sure that the threat of being stuck in a mafia prison where he had almost died was enough to snap Mukuro out of it.

His plan backfired, massively. Mukuro immediately curled up, rocking and sobbing.

"Don't do it, don't do it…" He kept mumbling.

Tsuna glared at Reborn, "Your fault!"

Reborn admitted defeat.

 _ELSEWHERE_

Bermuda tilted his head, smirking. His _someone is clearly traumatized because of me_ senses were tingling. He cackled.

THE END

A/N: So that's the end. If someone has a request that I use if I decide to continue this, post it in a review and I will consider it. Hope you enjoyed!


End file.
